(for the proper effect, please hum "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" while reading the rest of this post. Thanks.)
Or at least they will win (by another 9-0 forfeit score) , completing a series sweep, once the needed investigation into the MitchellGate leaks leads to Mitchell's resignation in disgrace, the disqualification of the Red Sox, and the forfeits of all Red Sox postseason games.
We know it will happen.
Because we believe in America.
Congratulations, Rockies! Pop open a cold Coors Light! Know that while the rest of the world thinks you got your asses kicked, you will, in fact, be the ones getting those World Series winners' rings.